Ethan Slater’s ex-wife Lilly Jay “really never thought” she “would get divorced.”
Dr. Lilly Jay is reflecting on her highly publicized split from actor Ethan Slater and how it has impacted her life.
In an essay titled How Does My Divorce Make You Feel? for The Cut on Thursday, December 19, Jay shared her emotional journey following her divorce, which came just after the birth of her first child.
“No one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced … but I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child, and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity,” she wrote.
Slater, 32, filed for divorce in July 2023, one month before their son’s first birthday. That same month, news broke of his romance with Wicked co-star Ariana Grande, which Jay admitted made her struggle as the movie’s press tour became unavoidable.
“Days with my son are sunny. Days when I can’t escape the promotion of a movie associated with the saddest days of my life are darker,” she explained.
Jay, who works as a perinatal psychologist, described how distance grew between her and Slater during early parenthood.
“I didn’t understand the growing distance between us,” she shared, recounting her decision to support his career while caring for their newborn abroad.
As headlines about her divorce circulated, Jay mourned the loss of her once private life.
“I deeply miss the life of invisibility I created for my patients,” she revealed, acknowledging how the sudden public exposure conflicted with her professional identity.
Despite the challenges, Jay hopes her experiences can resonate with others.
“Maybe we can think about my messy not-so-personal life in that way: a dose of my own loss, rage, powerlessness, sadness that helps me hold yours,” she wrote.
On a hopeful note, Jay shared her belief that a “lifetime of sweetness is waiting for me and my child.”
She also emphasized the shared love she and Slater have for their son.
“We both fiercely love our son 100 percent of the time, regardless of how our parenting time is divided,” she concluded.
While some initially speculated that Slater and Grande’s relationship began as an affair, both denied the claims.